Every birthday I reach a point where I think "I'm old. I need to just accept that I'm old and can't lose weight." And then Jennifer Lopez at 51 rocks a stripper pole at the Super Bowl in a bedazzled G-string and I think maybe I'm underachieving a bit. Not that I'm going to put … Continue reading Don’t tell me food doesn’t love me
What am I afraid of? If you asked me that question a year ago I would have recited a litany of things. Snakes. Drowning. Vampires. Public speaking. Dying alone. Menopause. Finding a dead mouse in my take-out. Ruth Bader Ginsburg dying. Chelsea being relegated. My mother sneaking veal into her meatballs. Saints Matthew, Matthias, Bartholemew, … Continue reading Fear is a four-letter word
Welcome back to night 2 of the Democratic beauty pageant to elect Joe Biden. I have to admit night one was rather amusing. Well at least the memes were this morning. I don't have high expectations for tonight given the contenders, but I've covered myself in Ben-Gay, strapped on my bunion corrector, and now I'm … Continue reading The “Get off my lawn!” debate
Back by popular demand of three of my loyal followers. In the words of Marvin Gaye....let's get it on. In fact, it wouldn't surprise me if Cory Booker unbuttoned his shirt and started singing that. He needs some media attention. So, who's up first? I can't even keep track of them all and I've been … Continue reading Let’s get it on….(liveblogging debate #1)
I took the dog for a walk this morning and had a thought—what if this is all I’m meant to have in this life? I mean, there’s got to be a reason why nothing ever works out for me. There’s a reason why I’ve been single for ten years. There’s a reason why I have … Continue reading Daddy don’t forget
When I decided to go to Edinburgh, I knew there was a lot of history there, but I completely underestimated what a creepy city it is. Yes, everyone knows Jekyll and Hyde was written there (based on the true story of Burke and Hare). So was Harry Potter, so you’d figure there was a penchant … Continue reading I may be haunted…
Considering all my travels in recent years, you would think I would have better luck on tours. For the most part I plan my own intense itinerary, but sometimes it is just easier and cheaper to pile into a minivan and not have to worry about driving. But for some reason I often end up … Continue reading Want to see my hairy coo?
I haven’t watched Beverly Hills, 90210 in twenty-odd years, and yet I’m feeling a profound loss today. And I’m not the only one. Every woman within a 10 year range of me is expressing shock and sadness over the death of Luke Perry. There have been so many YouTube clips shared, even of his death … Continue reading Where have you gone, Dylan McKay?
I don’t understand what it is about babies that makes people lose their freaking sense of boundaries. American society is so politically correct now you can’t tell a decent joke without people getting offended. That’s how you end up with Amy Schumer in movies. Americans don’t want to talk about sex in open society, but … Continue reading Why I don’t have kids. Choose one.
Happy 2019 to all my loyal readers! I must apologize for my absence in 2018, but from the latest Gallup poll, I'm sure your year sucked as much as mine. I was also quite absorbed in the machinations of the Mueller investigation because I love a good story of espionage and treason. It dates back … Continue reading Dear 2019: Please Don’t Suck